Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
