Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
