drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
