Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
