What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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