Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
