Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
