if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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