let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
