In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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