piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Randomize
