if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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