so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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