honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
