i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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