so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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