I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
