better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
