You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
