meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
