Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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