i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
