Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
