dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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