Fine. I'll sleep in my office
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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