i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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