I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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