porn star boner night. come get it.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
