I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
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