oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Barsexuality is the new black.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
