Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Randomize
