I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
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