can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
