i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
