i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Randomize
