sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
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