Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize