so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
