She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize