Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
