I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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