in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
