Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
