so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
