Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize