He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
