I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize