apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Randomize
