Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
