whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
