Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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