HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
