New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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