Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
