okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
