??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
