i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
