My brain says no but my pants say off.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
