Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
