I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
