just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
