if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
