Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
