he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
