is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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